Lebanon Hills, Regional Park MN. Photo by author .
Growing up, especially in the 90s, I listened to grunge, alternative rock, the occasional boy bands, and nu-metal. The angst sound of guitar drifts and relatable lyrics drove me and felt as if I was not alone. Not alone feeling angry, not alone feeling bored, not alone feeling down and out…typical teenager emotions. There was aliveness to the sound and a weird uplifting vibe that will ultimately get me through the trials and tribulations of high school.
An ultimate favorite (even till this day) band called Incubus was the cat’s meow for me and my friends. Listening to Brandon Boyd sing was all that was needed to get through any day and was on repeat for many.
One most-loved song, that will always resonate with me, is called “Favorite Things”. While Brandon’s intention was to describe how his religious beliefs interfered with his own reality, I related to going against the norm, being an individual, and doing what made me happy regardless of what others perceived.
Now sure, I was never the poster child for D.A.R.E or the example of a good student, but I was finding my way, discovering myself, and creating my own fate. My friends and I were on our own paths and living on the edge while feeling invincible. Thoughts about our futures included travel, living in a big city, and having big careers. All which were a long shot but seemed so close within reach in our high, crazed, teenage minds. All which never came to past and roads leading to dead ends, poor choices, and undealt with trauma was just beginning.
The paradox of trauma is that it has both the power to destroy and the power to transform and resurrect. 🤔